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Allergies

Or should I say, fatal allergies, because to talk about just any allergies, the list goes on and on with me.

Surprising that I was a relatively healthy child, to grow up to be so sick.

Anyway, this was triggered by an article I saw somewhere, which I can’t remember where… about someone suing a supermarket because a pineapple hit her head last year.

Don’t even remember which continent it happens. Doesn’t help that I read newspaper from home, the UK and NYC. Weird, huh?

Happened in my first year, when I was absolutely obsessed with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. My British flatmates found it weird that I ate my peanut butter that way. I never eat peanut butter on its own. Also, I was set on staying Americanized.

Ha ha, 18 year old me, you’ll become British in a couple of years; starting your final year and all the way down down down!!

Anyway… So, I was waiting for one of our tutorials which was after some lecture. Do you know just how insane the prices of sandwiches are, especially when you just arrived? And that they’re mostly the savoury kind as well; suitable for lunches, not snacks.

With my usual I-don’t-care-what-you-Brits-think-of-my-sitting-just-about-anywhere (little did I know they too sat just about anywhere; especially in the summer months), I was sitting outside the tutor’s office and started munching on my sandwich, when one of my tutorial mates (for the life of me, I can’t remember who now; forgive me if I ever feed you anything with peanuts) came and plonked him/herself next to me.

What goes on will be put in the form of dialogue. A is the said tutorial mate.

A: So, what are you having there? (now that I think about it, maybe the said person is not British; a bit too nosy, no?)
Me: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
A: Peanut butter!!
*pauses*
I’m allergic to peanuts.
Me: Oh.
*uncomfortable pause*
Well, they’re not that great anyway, which is probably why I put such thin layer on my sandwiches.
A: The allergy’s fatal. My tongue gets swollen and it would be difficult for me to breathe.
Me: *in a bored tone* Oh, that would happen to me with pineapples.
A: Really? *suddenly sounds excited* Wow!! I didn’t know it happens with other allergies!!
Me: *very confused that this person sounds excited. Is (s)he insane???* Err… I know it happens to people who has deadly allergies of peanuts.
A: But you know, at least yours is to a pineapple *(I’m pretty positive about this; (s)he sounded) jealous*
Me: Err… Isn’t it just as bad? After all, it could still kill you, after all.
A: Well, when you think about it, there are less things that might have pineapples in it. Look at every thing at the shops, they would have “might contain traces of peanuts” or some sort of warning that there’s peanuts or whatever.
Me: *in my head* I suppose because there are more people that are allergic to peanuts here than pineapples anywhere in the world; no such thing at home anyway!!
*out loud* Well, with pineapples, I would have to check for the ingredient on my own. In a way, you guys have it easy, having the warning there for you already.
A: Yeah, but c’mon!! I was cheated of a childhood where I could eat peanut butter sandwiches for tea like you’re doing now!!
Me: I’m cheated out of the “pleasure” of eating pineapple jam tarts and a lot more traditional food of my culture.
A: Okay, fine, we’ll stop listing out what we’re missing out. Let’s concentrate on what happens if we accidentally consume this annoying thing we’re allergic to. Wouldn’t you rather be killed by something scary looking rather than something cutesy looking like a peanut?
Me: Excuse me?
A: Look at pineapples. They’re scary looking. They’re big, prickly… they even have a crown to declare who’s king!! You could even use it to hit someone on the head and that person might get a concussion or something.
Me: Right…
A: And look at peanuts!! They’re tiny and cute and so harmless. But with me, it’ll give the same effects as a scary looking pineapple would give to you. C’mon, wouldn’t you rather be killed by something that is scary looking, at the very least?

The tutor walks by and opens the door and lets us in. A had no chance of continuing his/her theory. Everyone else were sniggering.

Why do I attract such people? Sigh…

They’re not exact quotes, obviously. It’s been 4 years.

But, yeah, wouldn’t you rather be killed by something scary looking?

WTF!!

I don’t think I would like to choke on my own tongue!!

Edit: I am having Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups now… And I’m thinking, yes, I am lucky I am not allergic to peanuts (note I am not saying I’m lucky I’m allergic to pineapple. Lucky is not being allergic to anything). Seriously man… Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups!! Yummy!!

Pineapple tarts can go to hell man. Hahaha.

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Categories: Narcissistic
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